What a Scary Thing to Say

There was a knock at the door, I opened it, and it was you

We watched your favorite movie after you handed me a bouquet of flowers 

I couldn’t see your smile, but I could still feel it in the dark

Though I wanted to like the movie, I couldn’t stand that song 

Still, never would I tell you how badly I wanted that song to end

Instead, I held your hand to survive until it did 

I can’t help smile when you do that thing you do

How you rock back and forth when something’s funny to you 

And how you look and me still smiling after the laughter ends 

Which causes my cold heart to bloom and flower

And sometimes even sing

Maybe one day I can even say I love you outside the dark 

I love your eyes––like my mom’s, so dark

It’s a blessing you don’t have green eyes as he does

My green eyes like his so glassy when I hear that movie song

I’ve never explained it before––but maybe I can tell you

The pain of my dad’s leaving is still fresh as a flower

I don’t want to tell you because the crying may never end 

And I never want to know what it’s like for love to end

A feeling so painful, gut-wrenching, and unimaginably dark

But they can only stay beautifully pure for so long, true fresh flowers 

Eventually, they will die and darken––you know they always do

But even if they do, please know, I will always love you 

Just like they say it in that song the movie sings 

I want to share everything with you––

my favorite books and favorite songs 

I’ll show you my favorite playlist and then another when that one ends

You’ll listen and soon they’ll be just as special to you

We can pretend that time never ends and fall asleep to them in the dark 

You’ll hold me, and I’ll know that you could never hurt me like my father did

After all, what they say is true: April’s showers bring May’s flowers

Lying next to you, I try to imagine the color of our wedding flowers

Or what we would choose as our first song

If you’d step on my toes as we dance like you always do 

Either way, I know we’d dance long after the song’s end 

And we’d stay smiling until the lights went dark

Because the light in my heart could never go dark next to you 

Flowers may die, but my love for you will never end

Because there you are, on one knee, and I forget the tune that darkness sings

The tear in my heart is finally full, and now I can look into your eyes and say, “I do.”