ASK CARLIZZI: Rise up! Fall down! No flowers!


Dear Carlizzi,

The Falcons lost, and I don’t know what to do… How can I go on with my life?

Sincerely, falconfan_forlife

Dear falconfan_forlife,

I totally understand where you’re coming from. The saddest part was the Falcons were leading the entire time. Wait, no. The saddest part was that the Patriots have won the Super Bowl much more recently than the Falcons, and who doesn’t love an underdog? Hold on. The saddest part was that it was the ATLANTA Falcons which is so close to Macon, so we all really wanted them to win! Ohhhh well. Anyways, I hope this helped you get over it. As for going on with your life, I think you should channel your energy into another activity. Crocheting? Maybe start a band? Possibly start a support group for others with the same struggles??? The possibilities are endless!

Dear Carlizzi,

My date to Sadie Hawkins didn’t get me flowers, does this mean he hates me?

Sincerely, Frenzied_fresssshman

Dear Frenzied_fresssshman,

Oh, girl let me tell you. You’re fine! Freshman boys just don’t know what they’re doing. Boys in general just don’t know what they’re doing. And that won’t change. Ever. Regardless, next year your date will get you flowers because he will know to get you flowers. Just feel good about the fact that your date this year probably got yelled at by his mom for a solid 20 minutes for not getting you flowers. Dances only get better!