I voted for Hillary Clinton.

Am I not supposed to say that? I guess I should be doing one of two things: yelling my frustrations from the rooftop or, at the very least, having the sense to keep quiet.

But I’m not sure what the purpose is in either one of those options. My candidate lost. The man that won was not the person I wanted to win. And, regardless of political affiliation, I think most of us can agree that the man who won was not expected to win.

All in all, I’m disappointed. Yes, in the outcome but also in the path we took to get there. The rhetoric of the election was volatile, and, instead of inciting intellectual discussion, it produced a mud-slinging campaign that left America tired and left many Democrats less enthusiastic.

Which is upsetting, considering the 2016 Presidential election was my first time voting. You would think becoming a first-time voter makes you feel that you’re contributing to some grand scheme of democracy that will refresh the world.

Instead, I felt like I was panting across the finish line of a marathon. I had completed the race, but I was left wondering if it had ever been worth training for from the beginning.

I suppose American turnout for the election was so low because neither candidate excited the average voter. I didn’t fit into that category. The prospect having a female president thrilled me.

It thrilled me as somebody proud to have seen the election of our first African-American president. It thrilled me as a teenage girl interested in politics, and it thrilled me as somebody who believed it was about time we join the rest of the western world in the election of a female executive-in-chief.

But it didn’t happen. I fell asleep Tuesday night (really Wednesday morning) before the election was called, but I knew he had won.

When I woke up, I expected my phone to explode with CNN updates of violent protests, word of mass migrations, maybe even a declaration of war or two. But, again, none of that happened. I woke up to words from the campaign I didn’t support. Words like “united” and “renewal.”

Donald Trump had finally avoided controversy. He sounded presidential. And while I didn’t trust him going into the voting booth, I trust the desires of American democracy. Imperfect as it is, we have always relied on it. We rely on an electorate who chooses a president. And on Tuesday, we chose our president.

As a citizen, I have very little choice but to throw my support behind the election of Donald John Trump. We can complain, fantasize about what might have been, but ultimately, he is our reality, for better or worse.

I will support him now, as I never have, unless he gives me reason otherwise. Call it a clean slate. Call it complacency. Whatever you may.

Regardless, I, as much as anyone else, really and truly hope to see Donald Trump make America great again – although I’m not sure it ever stopped being great.